Goldilox and the Three Scares (2): Carolyn Crane

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Goldilox and the Three Scares!

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I love Halloween! So I wrangled in some of my favorite authors and asked them to participate in this event. And they said yes! Plus, each day each author has a wonderful giveaway for you!

Day 1: Carolyn Crane

   

Carolyn Crane is here today to help you out in case you ever get stuck inside a UF or PNR book, which coincidentally are the same rules one should follow for Halloween!

Take it away Carolyn!


6 Rules to follow for Halloween…or if you ever get stuck in a UF or PNR book!

One of the things about Halloween is that hidden things get to run free, and ‘what-ifs’ can be played out in a fun way… What if the dead walked? What if my neighbor is burying bodies in his yard? What if spirits are real? Who wants to be a sexy freaking witch? Needless to say, urban fantasy and parnormal romance are very Halloweeny genres.

Because of that, the world of Halloween and the world of urban fantasy and paranormal romance have a number of rules in common – take it from an authority: me! I feel it is my duty to point out what those are.

Top 6 rules that apply to BOTH Halloween ~and~ the worlds of UF and PNR

1. Go ahead and dress however weird or sexy or crazy you want!
That’s the great thing about Halloween - it’s an excuse to wear what you normally wouldn’t wear. Go ahead, be the sexy witch. The hot vampire slayer. The zombie. Who cares if it’s cliched, it’s Halloween!

The same thing goes for UF and PNR heroines. I let my heroines wear what they want. My heroines frequently have occasions to wear lavish gowns. Have you noticed? I create those especially because I personally love dress up. I spent a ton of time dreaming up Justine’s many gowns, especially her wedding dress, though it turned out suspiciously similar to the ballgown Eliza Dolittle wears in My Fair Lady. In Mr. Real, when my heroine discovers her computer has a virus that brings anything to life, what does she order first? Aweome boots. To go with her amazing ruby necklace.

2. When you have sex with the hot werewolf you pick up, he will definitely be in his human form.

And aren’t you so glad this is a rule in both UF, PNR, and real life? Because, you know. Eww, otherwise. Okay, I guess partly shifted hands could be sort of interesting but please, no more!

3. When people are moaning and gyrating while covered by a sheet, leave the sheet there.

Do not by any means pull off the sheet! Because, look, maybe it’s somebody’s costume and they are being a ghost, or maybe it’s something else. Do you really need to find out? Land sakes, leave the sheet! And if it’s a UF or PNR book, well, you know what that means.

4. Go ahead and pig out, people!

If the Halloween dress code isn’t awesome enough already, why, never fear, because the candy is flowing free! Woohoo!! People are giving it out at their houses. There are bowls of it at your friends places. Personally, I like to overbuy mini chocolate bars. Oops, not enough kids came to the door…what will we do with the leftover mini Butterfingers?

In UF and PNR, people are always eating like crazy—especially those high-metabolism werewolves. And even the vampires. I mean, yes, it’s blood, and okay, blood isn’t that appetizing, but most writers make the whole drinking-of-blood sexy, so that makes up for it. I also believe firmly in letting my characters feast like crazy. Have you noticed my Disillusionist characters spend half their time in restaurants or at dinners? lol. There’s food in Mr. Real, too. One of the first decisions my heroine makes once she realizes the TV superspy will be materializing on her doorstep is what to feed him. She decides he might enjoy olives.

5. Don’t interrupt people’s conversations with invisible entities.

If it’s Halloween and somebody seems to be having a conversation with the empty space beside her, she’s probably on the phone. However, in a UF or PNR environment, it’s more likely an invisible or tiny supernatural entity is involved. Either way, don’t interrupt!

6. Not a good idea to drink the punch with steam coming out of it.

I’m sorry, that is just never a good idea in a fantasy world or a real world. In a fantasy world, smoke coming out of liquid signifies sinister and potent magic, and doesn’t something always go wrong when the heroine drinks that sort of stuff? And in the real world, it means dry ice, which is bad to ingest, or meringue-powder-based foam, which somehow just doesn’t sound as delicious as, say, a nice cold beer!

Okay, aren’t you so glad I figured out these rules? Live it up!

And guess what? I’m holding a contest! Because, Halloween week is also MR. REAL release week, and I’m crazy excited about this book. And I’m giving away one ebook ARC copy of MR. REAL below!

Thank you Carolyn!

Check out her giveaway below!

I’m a writer living in Minneapolis with my husband and two daring cats.

I work a day job as a freelance advertising writer, and have for years. I’ve also waited tables at a surprising number of Minneapolis restaurants and bars (though not as many, incidentally, as my writer husband has). I’ve also been a shop clerk and a plastics factory worker, which I was dismal at (think I Love Lucy).

Also, I can relate almost any life experience to one or another Star Trek episodes, and if you invite me to your party, your cheese plate will be in grave danger.

During rare moments when I’m not at my computer, I can be found reading in bed, running, helping animals, or eating Mexican food.

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